This is a direct response to Carlos Miceli’s post on Owl Sparks: Prison, Fear, and Personal Branding
You know that feeling you have when you first meet someone? It’s that feeling that you have to put your best foot forward so that you can make the best first impression. We have this feeling at networking events, job 
interviews, and when we finally get the courage to talk to the girl we like.
When we put our “best foot forward,” are we really being ourselves? Or are we just putting up a facade of a “better self” that we think people would like to meet?
When it comes to the social media world, personal branding has taught us that we need to constantly showcase our best selves so that we consciously brand ourselves the way we want people to view us. But in doing so, are we losing our real selves in the process? Does your social media brand match your real life brand?
Ways to break out of the prison
1. Stop agreeing with everyone
For the next week, I want you to ONLY leave a comment on a blog IF you completely disagree with the author’s point of view. No more agreeing with blog posts! Comments that disagree are not only more interesting, but they generate great discussions and debates on the blog post that usually lead to new ideas and concepts.
2. Trim the fat
Take a good day to sit down, go through your Facebook and Twitter profiles, and un-friend/unfollow people who you are not close friends with. If you do not have an intimate relationship with the person, then there is no need for you to be friends with them on Facebook or to Follow them on Twitter.
Doing this is not only liberating, but you’ll begin to build closer ties to the people that matter in your life.
3. Write a controversial blog post
The best debaters are able to argue their opponents argument better than the opponent himself. Find a topic in your niche that is HOT. Find one that is very biased towards one side of the argument and write a post arguing for the other side. It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree with the other point of view, as long as your argument is well thought out, coherent, and makes people want to debate with you.
You’ll not only stir up a great conversation online with your post, but you’ll drive more traffic to your blog and gain a new readership.
Be yourself online
Try these three exercises and let me know what you think. The more you practice them, the more comfortable you’ll feel about being yourself online.
Author:
Jun Loayza is the Co-Founder of Viralogy, the Social Media Rank, and the President of SocialMediaMarketing.com, a social media marketing agency. You can find out more about Jun at his personal blog – Young Entrepreneur.
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Can I agree with Phil Lynch?
You are really funny.
Thanks for the laugh.
Thanks Jun for bringing Carlos’s post.
I just completed a response for him also: Personal Branding Liberates You from the Prison http://wp.me/py0kh-mp
I can see where Jun is trying to get to, but from an online reputation management point of view I would think twice before writing a ‘controversial’ blog post just for the sake of being controversial.
These are the sort of things that come back to haunt you later in life. Much better ‘being yourself’ by adding value to the community.
“unfriend/unfollow’ people you do not know closely do show any wisdom as far as I am concerned. Relationships beging from somewhere and when you throw out the babby with the water, you are missing a great deal. Your opinion may sound great but that does not make it final. Keep the pen flowing
I totally agree that you should disagree. (D’oh! I did it again, didn’t I?)
I try never to add the “good post! Keep it up!” comments. I don’t mean to be offensive but they look kind of lame. I don’t think most bloggers are so insecure that they need affirmations from total strangers.
On the other hand, I comment only when I slightly disagree. I have found that bloggers may not need the affirmations but if you publicly tell them they are wrong, they don’t like it much.
Please feel free to disagree completely with me. I can take it.
Melissa
P.S. and just in case I am wrong…Good post! Keep it up!
I love your intention and the title for your post. Yet, I find the contents a superficial attempt to express our ‘real’ selves and even inconsistent with the intention. For example, in your third suggestion to write a controversial post you ask people to take a position and write about it even if we don’t believe in it as long as it is coherent, with the purpose of getting traffic? Hmmm…it is not the best suggestion to be our “real” self.
I am sorry that I used your post as an example for what is missing in our discussions on personal branding and which you can read about here: http://mindfulmarketers.blogspot.com/
But I hope that this will spark a meaningful exchange for all involved and enhance our process of self discovery.
Enjoy!
Juan – looks like you may have achieved part of your personal brand strategy in being the catalyst for a stimulating conversation. There are two key points for that I do not think have been fully covered in this conversation;
1. The uptake in social media is because ultimately as humans we want to connect and be appreciated by others. You are unlikey to be followed by people who hate you (although Howard Stern made a sizeable living on his radio show from the majority of his listeners hating what he said most of the time but tuning in to see what he said next!). But many of your friends on Facebook or quite likely followers on Twitter are because they are interested in what you have to say – not because they want to be your BFF.
2. What is missing from this conversation and many around personal branding’s link to social media is asking two key questions, which Mitch Joel spoke to at a recent event.
a. Figure out the Why? – what are the reasons that you want to be on these mediums. If it is to just connect with BFF’s great , generate followers great, stimulate controversial conversations great – but be consistent.
b. Then worry about the What? – in other words determine your WHY before you even start to consider which ones to use.
If just connecting to your friends is key why choose such a public place as Twitter? You could use Facebook with private setting and some type of messenger service or just set up a complete Ning profile.
Me thinks you might not be being totally authentic with your intentions Juan – controversial enough for you?
Just my Toonies worth.
Well said Paul.
I’ve found that the spirit of social medias is one of sharing, openness and honesty; the ones who are the most successful are the ones who are able to adhere to this spirit. The use of ‘prison’ here suggests to me that the author isn’t comfortable with the social media modus operandi.
I, for one, enjoy the relationships that I have built online, appreciate controversy for what it is, another perspective and think the world would be a better place with more people looking for more genuine ‘win-win’ relationships as cultured in most socnet relationships.
Mark Montoya
@MarkMontoya
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