I have a genuine ability to make a good impression at networking events. The way I do it is by going against the grain - I do the exact opposite of what everyone else is doing.
While everyone is practicing their 30-second self pitch and making sure they have enough business cards for the event, I’m reflecting about what interesting things I’ve done in the past week so that I can tell the people I meet my cool and interesting stories. I NEVER make up a story; instead, I always make sure that I do interesting things during the week so that people will be able to engage in fun conversations with me.
I promise you that if you follow these 5 simple pieces of advice, you will become more memorable at events and at the same time, have much more fun being there:
1. You are not a company
You are a person, a human being that has a personality with a mind of its own. A company always has to worry about its brand image, but more importantly, a company is constantly trying to sell its product or service. Unlike a company, you don’t have to “sell” yourself; your goal is to be interesting and fun.
If you focus on being yourself rather than being a company, you’re going to appear much more relaxed, friendly, and approachable.
2. Go in unprepared
I never research the speaker nor do I check who is going to be at the event. I don’t want to be influenced by any outside information because it can develop a bias in me that makes me lose my cool temperament and relaxation. The key here is to be as approachable as possible. By walking in with a completely clean slate, I force myself to listen carefully to everything that everyone says.
Another great thing about not knowing who the speakers are is that they now have to impress me with their public speaking abilities. If I’m not impressed with them, I probably won’t make the extra effort to meet them. Yes, I know that I may be missing out on some very good connections by not approaching all of the speakers, but I go for quality of the connection rather than the quantity. If I focus on the speaker who impressed me the most, I will have a higher chance of building a connection with him and then meeting up after the event for a follow up meeting.
3. Don’t ask for a business card
I never ask for a business card. My goal is to be so interesting and fun that the person I’m speaking to is compelled to give me his business card to keep in touch with me. If he doesn’t ask for my business card, then I have failed.
By having a “never ask for a business card” policy, I force myself to attract people to me. I force myself to learn how to tell a story that captivates my audience and makes them want to be my connection.
4. Don’t talk about careers
Everyone in the room is talking about their own career. It gets boring and tiresome. No one is going to remember the client you worked on or the internship you had. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s just that people remember how they felt emotionally when speaking to you rather than the facts about you.
I therefore focus on talking about everything except for my career. I tell them about my trip to Peru, about how much I absolutely love blogs and twitter, and about how they can easily pick up surfing if they wanted to.
When they ask you, “So what do you do?” Make sure you give them something that will blow their minds away!
5. Add some flare to a meet up
When meeting up with the person after the event, don’t go for the same old coffee meet-up. Try something new like going for a bike ride or going surfing. I have done both myself. Introduce your contact to something that you are passionate about and you will instantly create a connection that no one else will be able to replicate.
Implement these 5 techniques and you will become the most memorable person at all the events.
Author:
Jun is the Founder and CMO of Future Delivery where he is building Viralogy, the Social Media rank. His personal blog, Become a Young Successful Entrepreneur, gives a real, unfiltered view of the Startup Life so that current and aspiring entrepreneurs can learn from his successes and mistakes.
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Been teaching network for a long time and never have believed in the elevator speech at networking events. My goal is to connect with another person. I use the saying “You know everything you know listen so you can learn about the other person”. I stress the importance of asking questions. My favorite one as I am shaking hands and after saying my name “So what great thing happened to you recently”?
Totally agree meeting three people at an hour event is about perfect…you develop some rapport with them. Have to say, I always ask the person I had a conversation with for their card. Then follow up with a handwritten card–that is way they will remember me for sure.
Wow, a hand-written card is hardcore. I would definitely feel super special if I received one.
The person better be amazing if you’re sending them a handwritten card. Or else I don’t think the ROI is very high if you send a hand written card to everyone.
I take a slightly different approach. Instead of asking questions, I usually tell stories and get the person involved in them. I then ask the person questions that follow from my story.
Jun, I wish you were at the meetings I go to! I haven’t even had business cards for 12 months now and the less I care, the more I tend to meet interesting and helpful people. Your post explains why but rather shatters my illusion of providence!
Yinka, can I be blunt? This post isn’t offering an ‘angle’. If you were to update your photo to show you as YOU really are then you might begin to understand (assuming that your hand isn’t actually attached to your face). Sorry to be so direct, but I say it respectfully and in good faith.
Matt, if you’re in SoCal, hit meup.
Who is Yinka?
Good post, except the part on the exchange of business cards which would not fare well in Asia. It would be very impolite not to exchange cards when first meeting with someone here, particularly in a business context.
That’s a very good point! Always be aware of the culture
[...] der Link zum Original Artikel: “It’s Time to go Against the Grain” von Jun [...]
Hi Jun, your post is great! I really love your strategy which is essentially to stand above the crowd. I certainly can’t surf (haha) but what’s worked for me in the past is to focus on the other person’s story at these networking sessions. If I can offer to assist in making connections on their behalf with people of influence that I might know I do. I think that helping others where possible has its own special rewards. My approach, like yours has always been to bowl them over with personality!
Thanks Christine.
I’m very wary of people who try to make offer me something like a favor a little too soon. People throw this around too often without really meaning it.
I always wait to make a real connection with the person before offering to help them with a favor
I’m a Brit and just got back from SXSW where many of us noticed that the Americans are so much better at the polished pitch and perhaps us Brits ar still a bit stuffy. The funny thing is, everything described above is exactly what I would do and maybe typically British (no mention of getting drunk though) Very reassuring that there is a grain to go against.
Man, I really wish I had gone to SXSW. The Twitter stream was so sad for me that week.
I’m planning to go to Britain next summer. Is there a large tech community there?
Hi, Jun: I am a corporate English teacher in Germany. What you wrote about “unpreparedness” really resonated with me: I like the casual idea that I go into class unprepared, but in reality, I have to constantly keep up to date on the latest news/sports/music, etc., so as to have a ready list of topics or themes to discuss in class. The thing is, the last thing my students want is to feel like they are back in school, so I have to find a way to engage them that works for them: some guy loves cooking; another loves airplanes: the reason my job is so cool is that I get to talk to people about their lives (and correct their grammar along the way): I just find people interesting. Perhaps it is selfish, but perhaps it is just reality: I (and most people) prefer to do interesting things rather than boring things. My problem with networking is that I usually don’t want things from people: now that I am job hunting, I want a job, and it feels like I have to violate my principles of just enjoying people for being people in favor of “manipulating” someone into giving me a job. But perhaps I have the wrong attitude towards networking — maybe you’ll blog about this theme?
Thanks!
Hey Kevin, I really like your question and topic. Hit me up with an email and we can talk about your questions in more detail.
me [at] junloayza.com
[...] 5 tips for networking events [...]
Hi Jun
I’m going to a network meeting on Monday, and I will try to practice what you have written.
Hi Guys, but how do you send a handwritten note (good idea by the way!) if you don’t have the business card? But of course you are right, listening is key to be succesful and not trying to get something from others helps a lot …