There’s a lot that goes into forming how people perceive your personal brand. Google results, blog posts, what kind of photo you use, and even how you tweet. But, I bet there’s one part of your personal branding efforts you haven’t thought much about: how you shake hands.
My senior year of high school, I was accepted into a mentorship program that only selected a few students from each local high school. It was very hard to get into, so we were all incredibly excited on the first day. We couldn’t wait to begin learning important things that would help us be successful in our future careers.
So, when Jeannie (the program coordinator) asked us to form a line to “learn the most important lesson of the program”, we jumped to our feet and rushed to be at the front. Imagine our disappointment when we were asked to come up to her one-by-one to shake her hand!
As Jeanie explained to us, how people shake hands forms a huge part of a first impression. And it was incredibly important to her that we represented the program well when we met our mentors. In fact, it was so important that we had to stand in front of the entire class shaking hands with her until we got it right! (As you can imagine, we learned fast!)
As a matter of fact, she was right about the importance of shaking hands correctly. A recent study showed that people who have good, firm handshakes fare better in job interviews. This is because the warm feeling of a handshake releases chemicals that inspire trust – and thus set the tone for the rest of a person’s interactions with another. Another study found a link between a firm handshake and extroversion/openness.
So if you’re trying to influence how people perceive your personal brand when you meet them, it’s really important to know how to shake hands correctly.
What should you be thinking about when you shake hands?
First, do no harm. 
The best way to completely ruin a first impression is to physically harm the person with whom you’re shaking hands. Some people shake hands with so much pressure that it feels like they’re attacking the other person. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of one of those handshakes, you know what I mean. If you don’t, you might want to check your grip.
Also, try not to wear dangerous accessories when you think you might be shaking hands. Some rings have sharp edges that can really hurt. Keep that in mind. And, under no circumstances should you wear your family’s heirloom poison ring. That’s just bad form!
Second, remember that shaking hands is a big deal
Another common mistake people make when shaking hands is to treat their handshakes as an afterthought. They either reach out with a limp hand and let the other person make all the effort, or they pay so little attention to the handshake that they mistakenly grab a few fingers instead of the whole hand. Both of those leave the other person feeling slightly off-kilter.
Networking events also have plenty of missed opportunities for good handshakes. People are caught by surprise when they’re holding a drink with their right hand (resulting in an attempt to salvage the situation with a left hand shake) or they run into someone they desperately want to meet right after washing their hands (resulting in the dreaded wet-hand shake!)
Finally, be confident and practice.
To shake hands correctly, extend your hand with the thumb up, keeping your wrist straight. Grasp the other person’s hand firmly, look them in the eye, shake once or twice, and then release. Don’t be afraid to be the first person to extend your hand, and if there’s some reason you can’t shake (e.g. you’re sick), let the other person know that you’re not rejecting them.
If you don’t know if you’re shaking hands correctly, practice! Ask your friends for help – and make them tell you how your handshake feels to them.
It might seem strange to practice handshaking, but it’s a part of personal branding that’s often overlooked. Since a bad handshake can have such a negative effect on how people view you, however, it’s worth making sure you’re doing it right.
Author:
Katie Konrath writes about “ideas so fresh… they should be slapped” at getFreshMinds.com, a top innovation blog.
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Good post, Katie. One thing I’d add is that if you mess up the first handshake, you should call it out right then and there. I say something along the lines of, “Oops, that was bad. Let’s try that one more time”. Being honest about it will keep that trust there, even if you mess up.
I prefer not to handshake, and would rather bow. This isn’t just for sanitary reasons nor because of Donald Trump; I find it more culturally elegant. I like exploring how people greet each other around the world.
That being said, I have a firm-but-not-death grip.
And dry your hand off if you just came out of the washroom!
First impressions are so important. If your handshake is too weak, it means you aren’t serious about the job or relationship. Better listen to Katie on this one
Good one, Katie.
“Do no harm” but do put a soul into that handshake. I know too many people who reach out limp hands, or grab me by the fingers.
Hello, Katie! This is most certainly one of the first lessons I communicate to my clients. Handshaking is definitely a universally accepted greeting. I enjoyed reading your post! We need to ensure our whole body and soul are with us when we handshake. How is our posture, and how are we leaning? How is our eye contact and how are we smiling? Where is our other hand positioned? Even the positioning of our feet can enhance or disrupt the handshaking process. It is a valuable lesson to learn early on!
Good post. Our handshake is just one more opportunity for us to communicate and strengthen our personal brand. Everything we do sends a message. Katie is right that it is “often overlooked” and for some shaking hands is more of a reaction to another’s extended hand. When we do not know the other person, the handshake is the only appropriate physical contact there is. The handshake combined with eye contact gives us a gut level sense for the other person.
Good info! And women, especially have to be careful with their fingernails if they are long. That can be harmful when you are shaking hands with someone.
Boy oh boy, does this resonate! I grew up with parents who were in a MLM organization and who often ranked prospective recruits they met based solely on their handshake (and eye contact). This was often discussed openly in front of me, so needless to say, I made sure not to bring a boy home to meet dad unless he had a good firm handshake. “Limp fish” handshakes just seem to project a lack of self-confidence, IMO. Great post!
[...] He said that a handshake is an important and deciding factor for some employers when hiring. Your handshake can say so much about your personality and it exudes confidence … just don’t break the person’s [...]
[...] He said that a handshake is an important and deciding factor for some employers when hiring. Your handshake can say so much about your personality and it exudes confidence … just don’t break the person’s [...]