To quote Dr. Phil
Are you living a life that is more in tune with your “authentic” self (who you were created to be) or your “fictional” self (who the world has told you to be)?
Gee, I never thought I would write a post where I would quote Dr. Phil!
Are you who you appear to be? Let me explain.
Many of us who have worked for 20 or more years have changed our behaviors there to fit in, to be a more attractive employee, to get paid more, to be more valuable… We have morphed our behaviors to fit in.
I am a certified Birkman consultant. The Birkman assessment will tell you in nine different behaviors both how you appear and how you want to be treated. We are usually treated the way we behave. When the way we behave is markedly different than the way we want to be treated, issues arise.
Let me give you some examples.
Closet Introvert
My MBTI score is ENTJ. The E is for extrovert, or I behave like an extrovert. I can work a room at a networking event like a pro. I am an excellent presenter. The issue is, I am a closet introvert. When I finish a presentation or leave a networking event, I am exhausted. I am very good at behaving like an extrovert, but it exhausts me.
I have learned that, if I am going to teach a class all day, I need to spend the evening alone or with only a few close friends. I am not an extrovert. I really want to be left alone!
Most people do not know that about me. I know I am not the only one who masks his authentic self in this way!
Stealth Competitor
A stealth competitor is someone who appears to be all for the common good. They are very nice people. However, they feel if they do good work, it should be noticed and they should be rewarded.
The kicker is they never have to ask to be rewarded.
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Unfortunately, this is very common in the western world. Many of us were trained by our parents and society that if we do good work, it will be noticed and we will get rewarded. We do not need to ask.
Stealth competitors rarely feel they are valued at work.
Sound familiar? Stealth competitors are very common in certain work environments!
By the way, there is a very good book written on this topic – Know Your Value by Mia Brzezinski. (This is an affiliate link, so we may earn a commission if you buy. It costs you nothing extra.)
- Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching - Global English Editing
- Attention Is More Than a Resource to Manage. It Is a Relationship With the Living World. - The Vessel
- A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like - Global English Editing
Structured Anarchist
I have had quite a few clients who are structured anarchists. The appear to be very orderly. They function well in a rules oriented environment. The issue is they have to create all of the rules!
These individuals want to create the rules. They are great at creating order out of chaos. If they enter a new environment they need the freedom to change the rules to their suit!
Sound familiar? There are a lot of you out there!
In each of these cases, the way people behave does not show their authentic self. They often are not perceived for who they are and, therefore, are not treated the way they want to be treated.
The personal brand you create is not completely authentic.
How about you? Are you the real you at work? What does it say about your personal brand?
Check out my book Repurpose Your Career – A Practical Guide for Baby Boomers
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