It’s funny how some people are these amazing conversationalists and witty as can be behind the monitor and then in real life they’re duds.
I recently had this experience. Meeting someone who I knew and interacted with online and consistently made me laugh, I had that expectation that in real life we would literally be rolling from laughter. When we met, it was like pulling teeth in the conversation. It was painfully apparent we were really nothing more than two strangers meeting for the first time.
It was so jarring that I had to take a step back and assess my own conversation and communication skills.
Then, this weekend I watched people who I’ve seen have great interactions online stumped with “nothing to say” to each other in real life.
You need to be better in real life than you are in social media – not the other way around. [tweet this]
Hopefully, these tips and this little formula will help:
First, remember whoever is the one asking the question is the person controlling the conversation.
Then, spend more time listening to people than talking at them. From their responses, this will help shape the context of the conversation.
Ask about their:
F = Friends and Family
A = Aspirations and Accomplishments (what are they hoping to do; what have they done lately)
B = Business
U = Understandings (what have they learned lately)
L = Loves (interests, hobbies, passions)
O = Organizations (non-profits or industry associations they’re involved with)
U = Undertakings (latest activities)
S = Sports
If you can do this when you’re in a conversation that’s seeking a topic, then you’ll see that people will find you to be – a great person to speak with.
Make it all about them. Put structure in your conversation without sounding like you’re interrogating them and you are one step above everyone else in making friends and influencing people.
This week we also covered the following topics to help your personal brand stand out:
- Shrinkage: An Interview with Bryan Bishop by Patrick Reynolds
- Nurturing Your Networking Skills by Debra Benton
- Why Mobile Technology Is Hurting Your Creativity and Career by Crystal Washington
- The Great Big Secret About Getting Organized by Nance Rosen
- Best Questions to Ask During Interviews to Employers by Ceren Cubukcu
- How to Successfully Network When You’re In Between Companies by The Young Entrepreneur Council
- Perceived as Overqualified—What Now? by Alex Freund
- 3 Strategies Moving Storm to Rainbow of Opportunity by Elinor Stutz
- 6 Ways Your Job is Losing You Future Earnings by Glassdoor.com
- Five Reasons Networking Is Hurting Your Career by Richard Kirby
- Rookie Fashion Mistakes for New Professionals in Business by Eddy Ricci
- Personal Brands: Words are Cheap by Maria Elena Duron
- Using MTN Thinking to Reshape Mountains by Jeff Shuey
- Words do Matter In Workplace Communication by Skip Weisman
- Keep Tabs on Your Visible Personal Brand by Susan Gilbert
- How to Reduce Workplace Stress by Leslie Truex
- How to Network if You’re an Introvert by Glassdoor.com
- 6 Variables That Will Help You Negotiate Salary by Ken Sundheim