People like to say business isn’t personal but it is personal. All of life is people personally interacting with other people. Work is people interacting with people but with money and title attached to it. Personal doesn’t mean inappropriately intimate; you needn’t border on sexting.
If you connect on a human level you more quickly connect on a business one. How? Simply ask the person about his interests, goals, and objectives; listen and remember what she said; later, bring it up. Connect human to human, not role to role, or gadget to gadget, or mano to monitor.
Who, what , when, why, and how are good words to use. Your tone must be one of honest interest and sincere inquisitiveness not interrogation. Get to know the person behind the computer; the cell phone. Volunteer information about yourself as you ask about others. Every conversation, add a little bit more connection between you aside from the business purpose.
Find out, make note, and remember names of spouses, children, hobbies, things going on in the person’s life. Remembering a small thing like a company anniversary, promotion, birthday, child’s name or interest will put you miles ahead of others.
Some hesitate to volunteer personal information or hang back when asked. They are not sure yet as to whether they can trust you. Over time they will learn they can. Even if they hesitate, inquire anyway. Give your own answer to the questions you ask of her even if she doesn’t ask. Provide it nonetheless. You make it easy for her to get to know you and therefore be more open with you.