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  • Surviving (Inevitable) Rejection

    shutterstock_280429298Rejection is inevitable in life, especially if you’re making an effort and putting yourself out there. Here are some thoughts I use to make it less painful when I get it.

    First, try not to expect to get it before you actually do. Most of the negative situations you worry about will never happen. If you fret and dread what might occur it will show all over your face, in your voice, and in your manner. People will see it and give back what you project and seem to expect.

    Consider the source, timing, situation, politics, and any other contributing factors so that you accurately understand the rejection. If in your estimation it’s valid — and usually at least some of it is — immediately do something about your actions/behavior to minimize the pushback from recurring. Later thank the person(s) who gave it, briefly explain the changes you made, sustain the changes, then forget about the rebuff.

    Get callused to the fact that not everyone will like you or what you do no matter what. Think about, it, you don’t like every one and every thing others do either.

    There is a percent of the population that will disprove of you regardless of how good you are. Take heart in the fact that some people don’t like the Pope, the U.S. President, Miss America, or Sponge Bob either. Life is not logical or fair. As the country and western song goes “sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug.”

    If you’re guilty of any of the following behaviors you will increase your chances of receiving negative reactions from people so try to eliminate them from your operating style now:


    -Lack of organization or goals

    -Self-criticism; low self-esteem


    -Blaming other people

    -Difficulty in making decision

    And finally, take some consolation in the fact that at least one of your friends will secretly be delighted in your rebuff or setback. You’ll make at least that someone happy

    D.A. (Debra) Benton has been helping great individuals and organizations get even better for over 20 years. Just as exceptional athletes rely on excellent coaching to hone their skills, Debra's clients rely on her advice to advance their careers. She focuses on what is truly important to convert what you and your organization want to be from a vision into a reality. TopCEOCoaches.com ranks her in the World's Top 10 CEO Coaches noting she is the top female. And as conference keynote speaker she is routinely rated in the top 2%. Her client list reads like a “Who's Who” of executives in companies ranging from Microsoft, McDonald's, Kraft, American Express, Merrill Lynch, United Airlines, and PricewaterhouseCoopers to the Washington Beltway and U.S.Border Patrol. *She is the author of ten award-winning and best-selling business books including The Virtual Executive and CEO Material. She has written for the Harvard Business Review, Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg Businessweek, and Fast Company. She has been featured in USA Today, Fortune, The New York Times, and Time; she has appeared on Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, and CBS with Diane Sawyer. To learn more Debra advising leaders, coaching, facilitating a workshop, or speaking: www.debrabenton.com

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