Through the years, I have always heard, “You are SO lucky, you are able to get whatever you want!”

It’s true I am able to get almost whatever I want, and although I laugh when I hear the frequently repeated remark, on a deeper level it’s almost insulting. The key to getting what you want is knowing how to relationship build and sell along with good old-fashioned etiquette.

The most over-looked concept is whenever you express an opinion or make a request, selling is required. This applies to motivating your significant other to take you to your favorite restaurant, encouraging the hiring manager to choose you, and for attracting more clients.

Here are a few tips that may help you relationship build and sell:

1. Listen first. How do you know what to sell or to ask for if you do not understand the other person’s point of view and past experience first? Question, Listen and Clarify to understand all of the nuances of the conversation.

Clarify and ask

Many people are embarrassed to admit they do not understand a term so they continue as if they do. It’s far more embarrassing to take the conversation down the incorrect path.

The opposite is actually true when you ask someone to clarify what is meant. It shows you are paying attention, are trying to understand, and you work with integrity. Your questions help to build confidence and trust in you and greatly increase the likelihood of getting the sale.

2. When objections arise, agree first and once again, question. Animosity will never get you what you desire. Agreeing relaxes the conversation. When you ask what their experience has been, you will then be able to ask in a non-threatening manner, “Have you ever thought about “X” in this way?” Most often your idea will never have occurred to the other party and you will have a green light to proceed.

3. Be respectful of everyone. There are no totem poles in companies – potentially everyone may provide feedback. Sometimes executives fill in for absent temps. So smile and thank everyone for their help.

4. Build commonality. This strategy works once again to build trust and confidence in you. So when you recognize you have traveled the same places, have the same hobby or know people in common – say so!

Common ground is key

The second part to building commonality is on in-person meetings, look for pictures of family or pets, signs of hobbies or interesting books. Make an opening remark based upon what you see.

Branding experts will tell you, it is very important to be noticed, remembered and referred to grow your business. Just by smiling, saying thank you, showing an interest in what the other party has to say and writing thank you notes will make you remembered and referred often!

And in terms of my business, all of this adds up to one very Smooth Sale!